The main language killers are those modifying words: adverbs and adjectives. Instead of improving our writing, they can deaden it and make it boring and dull.
He ran quickly down the hill.
Ok, so he ran quickly down the hill. Right.
But, what if:
He raced down the hill.
He sped down the hill.
Now, we can feel the action.
How about . . . ?
Sounds ok? He looked at her lovingly. Boring!
Peter gazed into her eyes.
Peter reached for her hand as he looked at her.
Now we can see his love for her without being told. Much more romantic!
The little word very can cause problems too.
But, what if, Mary was exhausted? Or Mary was weary.
The elephant was very big.
Or, was the elephant huge, enormous, massive?
Always check your writing for words such as these. A simple change is all it takes. It can make your readers want to turn the pages, want to find out what's coming next and want to read your next book.
A trifling change can make an enormous difference!
For a free quote for editing or proofreading contact me firstname.lastname@example.org